“Let’s get matching tattoos….”
Ok, you might actually like that as long as you get your face, name or initials to be on display on your loved one’s bicep, but honestly, the thought of this level of intimacy is a turn off. You don’t want someone to be confining or restricting you.
Even if you don’t get propositioned for matching tattoos, any attempt to curb your will and autonomy will leave you running for the door.
You don’t want to hear things like “let’s move in with my family for a while…” because you know your autonomy will be squashed if you don’t get to be king or queen of the castle. You also dislike competition for power.
Statements like “If you think that was difficult, wait ‘til you hear about my challenge…” also turn you off. You don’t like being bested. Also, someone who doesn’t appreciate your strength, will cause you to lose interest. You never want to hear “That’s not so impressive….” Or other such dismissive statements.
“No, that’s not what I said…”
If you detect deceit, you will call it quits. When someone changes their story it will set you off. You can be patient, and your generosity goes a long way, but you will not deal with betrayal and mind games. You want your significant other to be as reliable and consistent as you are.
You also don’t want to hear statements like “I’m still friends with my ex…”
Security is important to you. You want to know that you are the most important person in your partner’s life. Even if the ex is ‘just a friend’ it will keep you up at night wondering how secure your role is in your loved one’s life.
Any potential loose ends with exes will make you feel threatened and you will eventually leave.
You won’t tolerate anyone hindering your active social life. If your partner suggests you “spend more time at home…” or forces you to choose between your relationship and your friends, you will be out the door with wings on your feet.
Your loved one will also want to avoid the phrase “I think you should sell your ……collection…”
You know that someone who truly loves you will want you to thrive and for you this involves an active social life and many hobbies and interests. Whether you collect comic books, stamps or treasure trolls, your numerous interests fill your space and you love being surrounded by pop culture ephemera. A partner who doesn’t respect your souvenirs does not really understand you.
“Your mother is so annoying….”
A significant other who disrespects your family will quickly lose your interest. You also get turned off by a partner who doesn’t appreciate your emotional sensitivity. Statements like “Stop crying” or “you’re too sensitive” will leave you feeling misunderstood and invalidated.
If your partner can’t appreciate your emotional range the relationship will be doomed.
You also need to feel secure in your relationship.
Phrases comparing you to other people will not sit well with you.
You are nurturing and compassionate and will likely want children or enjoy being around children. A partner who states they do not want family or feels that their own ambitions are more important than the needs of their family will not align well with you.
“Don’t be so outrageous… people are starting to stare…”
You don’t mind getting attention from others. If your partner doesn’t appreciate your unique, over the top and sometimes dramatic personality, you will not be likely to stick around.
You don’t like being stifled or silenced. You need to shine and be true to yourself. You will be turned off by anyone who tries to get you to follow a code of etiquette that goes against your flamboyant nature.
You love being the center of attention, and a partner who is dismissive of your bold, charming personality will cause you to lose interest.
You will also not tolerate anyone who second guesses your authority and vision. You like to be in independent and don’t like being told your way is wrong.
“I’m not messy, this is how I get things done…”
Creativity, intelligence and busyness are not excuses for sloppiness in your book. You will not tolerate a significant other who doesn’t share your standards of cleanliness and organization. They may say you are too picky, but those are also words you don’t want to hear.
You are practical, meticulous and detail oriented. You don’t want your standards discounted by a partner who is in any way unmotivated, lazy or careless.
Other phrases on your least favorite list include “I’m running late, again….” and “why bother eating healthy? You only live once!”
If your partner can’t appreciate your need for orderliness your practicality will kick in and you will pack your things- in perfectly labeled boxes- and move on.
You value fairness and equality, and always want to give people the benefit of the doubt. Yet you have your limits. These phrases will tip the scales out of favor of your potential loved one.
“I need some ‘me time’….”
You are a partnering person. The concept of self care, while important to any relationship, puts you on edge. You are most successful when collaborating with others and can’t understand why anyone would prefer to act as a lone wolf. You will feel personally rejected if your partner insists on needing their space.
Other phrases likely to end your relationship include any remark critical of the disenfranchised. You are idealistic and value justice. A partner who expresses bias, ignorance or prejudice crosses a line with you. You are even likely to forgive your significant other for personal slights before you will overlook any remarks condemning an oppressed group.
You are typically easy going and it takes a lot to rattle your cage, but if your partner shows any sign of being conceited, self centered or lacking in empathy you will start to weigh whether the relationship is worth continuing.
“I think we should exchange Facebook passwords…”
Like it or not, you hold others to a double standard. You love your privacy and have layers of hidden secrets that your loved one may never completely unearth. On the other hand, however, you expect complete transparency and have no problem probing deep into the personal lives of others.
If someone is not willing to share their thoughts, feelings and agenda with you, you assume they are hiding something. Perhaps it is because you have racked up quite a few skeletons in your own closet, or because you can’t stand the thought of being left in the dark when any type of information is involved.
The end result however is that you will be on the defensive when others set boundaries or aren’t as open as you would like. At the same time, you will run from any attempt others make to probe past your boundaries.
Your decisions are final. If your loved one tells you it’s over, they better mean it because you don’t beg for second chances.
“Do you really need so much stuff?”
You love to do everything on a grand scale and yes, for the record, you do need a dozen of everything. You are outgoing, generous and usually optimistic.
You will try to uplift a pessimistic partner but will not suffer constant complaining.
If your partner questions why you need to travel so much or wants you to give up your charitable volunteer work or continuing education classes, this will be trouble for the relationship.
“Why don’t you look for a new job so you can have more time for our relationship…”
If your partner doesn’t understand that you work constantly because you love your job, the relationship is doomed. You may love your partner, but your work is a vehicle for both personal fulfillment and to create a foundation to support your loved ones.
Equally offensive are any insults of your traditions, heritage or values. You glorify the past and anyone who criticizes the ‘good old days’ or puts down your nostalgic tendencies will fall out of favor.
You are an ‘actions speak louder than words’ kind of person. Others need to understand your practical approach to love. If a partner becomes insecure, needy or demanding you will be turned off.
Loyal and traditional, you may not outright leave the relationship. Instead you may bury yourself further in work, become more detached and aloof and wait for them to get the hint or end the relationship.
“What are you feeling?”
You dread this question the way a kid who skipped his homework dreads being called on by the teacher. You don’t know how to answer this because feelings baffle you. You are compassionate toward humanity as a concept but intimate conversations in which you disclose your inner feelings are extremely uncomfortable for you.
Preferring not to look foolish, you may change the subject, give an intellectual answer or avoid responding altogether. When others don’t comprehend your strategic use of the silent treatment and persist in pursuing an answer, you may snap or pull a disappearing act.
You are also fiercely independent. When you want to spend time with someone, you will. If someone has to ask for your attention, you are likely to feel smothered. You will either ghost your significant other, or instigate an argument, so that you can map out your exit route.
“But what about getting a real job?”
You are an artist, a creative dreamer and visionary. Others may not readily comprehend that your work is on a spiritual plane. What you do for income or survival may not be as crucial as your many passions. You instinctively know your true calling and it is to this path that you will devote your energy and time.
You go with the flow and follow your intuition. Anyone who pressures you to conform to a rigid schedule or status quo path will risk losing you.