You are assertive and impulsive. When you become jealous, you are likely to jump right into action, confronting others, making accusations and outwardly expressing your jealousy as anger.
You will likely say things in the moment that you don’t really mean or at the very least, things you later regret saying out loud.
You act on your passions in the moment and may burn your bridges when your jealousy has been triggered.
When your jealousy has been triggered you will fume with anger behind the scenes at first. You are patient and will spend time giving your significant other a chance to rectify the situation and prove that they value your relationship.
While you are waiting however, you will also plot a back up plan to get even or rebalance the situation in your favor.
If your partner has shown interest in someone else, you won’t jump into attack mode. Before you jump to make accusations and show your feelings, you will invest energy in yourself.
You will revamp your wardrobe, heart set on showing your partner how beautiful and amazing you are and what they could possibly lose if they don’t get their act together.
You will elevate yourself and remind your significant other of your value. Only if this doesn’t work will your anger come to the surface, because you have given your partner a chance to soothe your feelings and they did not take it. As a result you will feel completely betrayed and this warrants a direct, no nonsense confrontation.
You will call them out on whatever is making you envious and even if it is a misunderstanding you will not be appeased until they have gone out of their way to show how much they love you.
When you are jealous, your mind goes to work overtime. Even more overtime than normal, that is. You will ruminate over the situation, looking at every possible angle.
You will second guess your instincts and rationalize, wondering if maybe you are misreading the situation.
At some point however you will take action. First you will research the situation online to see what expert bloggers have to say about the matter. You will likely find different opinions and little resolution so next you will go to ten of your closest friends to see what they think.
After you have vented and gotten some perspective, you will post some passive aggressive Facebook posts hinting at the situation but being careful not to be too obvious.
When all else fails, you initiate a conversation about the situation being careful not to acknowledge your feelings, because you prefer to intellectualize everything. You will try to come up with some reasonable explanation.
If you don’t feel like you have gotten the response you wanted, you will continue to talk about the situation, trying to get the other person to see things your way.
You will cry first. Then you will try to convince yourself not to feel jealous. It won’t likely work, however, so then you will cry again.
When you are jealous you could have an opportunity to look at how you may deal with your own feelings and insecurities or improve yourself. However you are more likely to sink deep into your insecurities and feel badly about yourself.
Eventually, after denying that anything is wrong even though it is obvious to your significant other that there is in fact something on your mind, you are likely to share how you are feeling and look to your significant other to make you feel better.
You may resort to emotionally manipulating your significant other if you don’t feel they have responded the way you wanted them to. You will resent anyone who tells you it is all in your head or you shouldn’t feel that way.
What you are looking for is an acknowledgement and validation of your feelings. An apology or agreement about the objective situation is not important to you. Rather you are concerned with making sure your feelings are recognized by the other person.
You will want to let everyone know you have been slighted, while at the same time trying to suppress your own feelings so you don’t appear vulnerable.
You will want to make dramatic gestures to try to gain positive attention and may even seek out others to pick sides.
You may use social media to announce how you have been wronged. You will react in dramatic ways and will likely publicly recount all the ways that you have gone out of your way for the person who has slighted you.
When you are feeling jealous you will try to remain rational. You will employ a scientific approach to first determine if you are perceiving the situation correctly. You will hold off on making any decisions or conclusions while you try to weigh all the facts.
You don’t like to dabble in emotions and prefer to keep your head above water. You will rethink the situation and analyze it from every angle. Before you approach someone in a confrontational way, you prefer to give advice.
Your suggestions, you hope, will cause the person to change their behavior and stop doing whatever you perceive is the cause of your insecurities.
You may become resentful and go out of your way to remind your loved one of all the things you do for the, hoping they will get the hint.
Eventually you will pinpoint what is bothering you, confronting your loved one directly. You will still resist openly acknowledging your jealousy and will instead insist your loved one has made a mistake that needs to be corrected.
You prefer to keep the peace and want everyone to get along. You can’t stand feeling envy because it means you are generating your own discomfort.
You may try to blame others for creating your insecurities. It is more likely however that you will become passive and drop hints, hoping those around you will respond to your hurt feelings and restore balance, showing you the attention and admiration you desire to soothe your insecurities and envy.
You may try to sublimate your envy through your artistic talent or even through indulging in a shopping trip, food or wine. It will not make you feel better in the long run.
You may also look to others outside your relationship for admiration and an ego boost, making the problem even worse because now you have leveled the scales by engaging in the same behavior that upset you in the first place.
You go for revenge before double checking to ensure there is no mistake or miscommunication. When you are jealous, your pride has been hurt and you will be ruthless as you attempt to make sure others feel the pain you are feeling.
You are just as likely to act out in self destructive ways as you are to directly confront your loved one. You know it will be as damaging to people who care about you if you turn your anger on yourself while projecting it onto others at the same time.
You may also be tempted to self destruct through your use of alcohol, drugs or careless sexual encounters and although this will only make matters worse, you will try to justify it to yourself by getting focused on what you perceive to be your victimization.
You will distract yourself with reminders that you really do have a good life that others should envy. You will remind yourself through immersing in books, philosophy and travel, that the world is a large place.
You will redirect your attention onto your opportunities and possibilities and before you know it your insecurities will be soothed.
Rather than feeling jealous, you will be reminded that the world is a vast place and there is plenty of attention, love, admiration and resources for everyone.
You may engage in some side flirtations to help redirect your focus but you will consider this harmless distraction rather than revenge.
You are cautious, conservative and relatively objective. When your jealousy is triggered it is likely to be because you sense someone is achieving what you feel you deserve.
You may become more aloof in your relationship with this person, but you won’t stoop to playing mind games or lashing out in anger. You realize in most cases there is no reason to be angry.
You would rather channel your energy into becoming more successful. If you are envious of a competitor for the attention for your love interest, you will throw yourself into work, convinced that you will become more successful and therefore admirable because of your achievement.
If your envy is triggered by career advancement that someone else receives but you felt entitled to, you will also work harder to try to prove that it was you who deserved the raise, promotion, or new opportunity all along.
You are typically immune to envy as you are able to think of most things in radically different terms than other people. When you do feel triggered by jealousy however, you will try to suppress or deny your feelings.
Instead of acknowledging your envy, you will project a detached and intellectualized version of events onto others and most often, blame them for your discomfort.
You are also likely to completely distract yourself from the present situation by dredging up old or irrelevant issues and finding ways to connect the past to your present feelings.
You may go silent or respond with erratic outbursts. Eventually though you will distract yourself with books or electronics. Your intellect is your safe zone and you will pursue debates on social media to discharge any pent up anger caused by the situation.
Your favorite way to cope with discomfort of any kind is to retreat into your fantasy world. Envy is no different.
If your insecurities are triggered by a situation that makes you jealous, you will escape into a fantasy world where you will either seek revenge, or prove that your loved one has made a terrible mistake, or find revenge through success, leaving others wishing they never took you for granted.
If this doesn’t resolve your envious feelings you may seek escape through alcohol and drugs.
When you have become more mature you will be able to sit with your emotions as you can learn to go with the flow. Yet it will take practice to get to the point of sitting with your feelings
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