Astrology, attraction and courtship

peacock.jpg Having been born and raised in the country were Casanova and countless writers exalting love were born, since an early age I observed the playful courtship and seduction game between genders and the associated verbal and non-verbal messages associated with flirting and courtship.

Boys learn how to refine their words and behaviour in order to better their chances and girls learn how to filter out the behaviours that aren't suitable and how to convey subtle messages to attract their desired partner (messages that, as men, we usually only understand later in life... high testosterone is not much “subtle”.)

While the essence of the masculine trait is active, the essence of the female nature is more connected to the receptive side, corresponding to the astrological Sun and Moon (or Mars and Venus, as a famous book described).

We shouldn't equate being active/masculine only with the male gender and being receptive only with females. Activity and receptivity are energetic qualities. Both qualities can be acted by both genders, even though each form of energy is typically more associated with a specific gender.

Also, we shoudn't identify receptivity with passivity. The receptive nature can direct this energy toward itself in delicate ways, much like a martial arts master can reshape the opponent's energies without using much muscular power.

The way we attract, and the way we are receptive to courtship doesn't depend on a specific sign or planet but, as usual, by the whole constellation of planets, signs and houses with their aspects.

However, we might say that the dominant planet, the aspects of Sun, Moon, Mars, Venus, and the houses 5, 7 and 8 are the most important elements to consider when we want to understand how courtship is expressed or accepted in a person. As well, the communication house (3rd), planet (Mercury) and signs (mostly air and fire signs) play a strong role.

Successful courtship is about intuitively understanding what the other person needs, how to make the person comfortable, how to trigger his/her passion.

In this sense, a person with strong Mercury or Geminis/Virgo values in the natal chart, has an intellectual intuition of the other person.

Though, in courtship, emotional understanding is most important. A strong Moon, especially in water signs, can sense the other person's feelings and a person with an important Neptune or Pisces will blend into the other person and almost be the other.

A person with a marked Pluto or Scorpio will enter into the depths of the other person.

Many are used to believe that an ideal seducer should embody a number of inner qualities, such as being gentle, handsome, sympathetic, fascinating, passionate, romantic, with sense of humour and intellectually charming. Since it's very unusual for a person to embody all of these qualities, most of us embody a few of those qualities that can better match and resonate with the specificities of another person.

For instance, while displaying unconventional and slightly crazy behaviour may appeal to people with Venus in Aquarius, in Pisces, in the 11/12 houses or to Venus with important aspects with Uranus or Neptune, the same characteristics might sound extremely unappealing for a Venus in traditional Capricorn or having an aspect with serious Saturn. In those case the person would prefer a steady, predictable and measured person.

Conflicting planetary aspects, like squares or oppositions, convey the shadow side of courtship where gentleness transforms into flattering, passion becomes aggressiveness, magnetism morphs into a controlling attitude, and sense of humour turns into sarcasm. Since it is often difficult for the person to be aware when an harmonic quality shifts into the shadow part, this is where self-awareness, meditation and a path of self-understanding helps.

At 12andus we calculate your most important planets, signs and houses through an in-depth analysis of your natal chart. As well, we infer your most important qualities based on your personalized chart. You can reveal them in the Astro Reports – Astrological birth qualities pages.

See also:

What does your dominant planet say about you?

Is the Moon more important for a woman than the Sun sign?

Venus, Mars, the Moon, long term relationships and hormones

The Sun as the dominant planet: generosity, charisma, confidence

The Moon as the dominant planet: sensitivity, support, imagination

Mercury as the dominant planet: intuition, communication, restlessness and mutability

Venus as the dominant planet: love, harmony and arts

Mars as the dominant planet: action, passion and competition


Register with 12andus to explore your natal chart, foresee your future, and decode relationships with detailed astrological reports.

Or register with your email address

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

By signing up via email or social icons, you accept our terms of service and privacy policy