You are quick to react to situations, easily triggered by the words and actions of others. Your rapid response can be a good thing, as you never miss an opportunity.
Yet in relationships you can also unintentionally hurt your partner by springing into defense mode.
Your passion can quickly turn to anger and in the heat of the moment you are likely to say and do things you later regret. You can be impulsive at times.
Even if you aren’t acting on the defensive, it is easy for you to jump to conclusions and spring into action without considering your partner’s feelings or needs.
You never intend to hurt anyone, especially those you love. Yet you just can’t help wanting to have the last word and feeling that others should see things your way.
When being right or having what you want becomes more important than fostering collaboration you will inevitably end up hurting your partner’s feelings.
A sensitive partner may also be easily hurt by your blunt communication. You tell it like it is and don’t always consider how your words impact others’ feelings. Usually, however, it will be your stubborn streak and not your assertiveness that leaves your partner feeling hurt.
You are brilliant when it comes to reading people and communication. The one language you don’t easily speak, however, is the language of emotions. It takes a lot of effort for you to get into your own feelings and as a result you aren’t always adept at meeting others on an emotional level.
When you rationalize situations or try to use your intellect to solve your partner’s problems, they will eventually feel dismissed. You hurt your partner unintentionally by remaining in the safety zone of your rational mind and not meeting them in the murky waters of emotions.
Your partner will feel like you are being condescending or detached because you don’t easily empathize with their feelings.
In rare occasions when you feel inclined to intentionally hurt your partner, you know that the pen is mightier than the sword. You can send a scouring message or wound with words when the urge strikes you.
You don’t typically intend to hurt your partner. You can sink to becoming emotionally manipulative when you feel your needs aren’t being met, however.
When this happens, you will play on the guilt or sympathy of your loved one. You may recount the numerous ways they have failed you in the past. You have been keeping score, after all. It will hurt your partner to know that their efforts to show their love for you have been dismissed or weren’t good enough.
You may also hurt your partner by embodying your own insecurities and becoming emotionally or physically self destructive. If you haven’t mastered your emotional tides, you can become moody and self sabotaging. Those who love you will be hurt to see you going through patterns of undermining your own potential and beating yourself up.
Your nurturing style of loving can also be perceived as reminiscent of your partner’s mother figure. In this case, you may completely unintentionally repeat patterns your loved one experienced with their mother, rehashing old childhood wounds.
You are boisterous and dramatic. When you feel unappreciated or unnoticed you may resort to extreme measures for attention. Your partner will be hurt if your attempts to seek attention from others arouses jealousy.
You are also likely to hurt your partner unintentionally by outshining them, one upping every victory. Give your loved one time in the spotlight as well.
You are sensitive to criticism and may be inclined to defend your ego. When you push back against any perceived slight, you may hurt your partner by saying things to bolster your own self esteem at their expense.
You typically don’t intend to hurt others. Yet your style of caring for others is enmeshed with your hypercritical view of the world. As a result you worry a great deal and feel that nagging, cajoling and criticizing are productive ways to deal with this worry.
Your partner is likely that nothing they do is good enough. At times they may even feel as if you don’t love them.
If you are mindful to outpace criticism with praise, this can be avoided.
You aren’t an aggressive person and prefer to make peace than to hurt anyone. Yet you love to be in love and feel admired. As a result you may seek the attention of others through innocent flirtation which can arouse the suspicion and jealousy of your partner.
This will be compounded if you continuously take others’ sides in conflict. Often you do this to present your loved one with a balanced view point.
You will show the other side of the story, yet your partner may perceive it as you not siding with them and showing your support for everyone else instead.
When you feel jealous, deceived or angry you will lash out. Intentionally, you seek revenge and will use any weakness you uncovered in your partner against them to make your point.
Unintentionally, you are inclined to hurt your partner by keeping secrets and causing them to become suspicious. You like mystery and will try to figure everyone else out while remaining an enigma yourself.
Your self destructive and addictive tendencies can also bring harm to your partner, either directly or indirectly.
Conversely, the better you care for your own emotional needs and maintain a balance in your life, the less likely you are to hurt others.
You are not always as present as your partner would like you to be. You love to wander and explore and may be physically or emotionally absent as you fill your mind and go off adventuring.
Your partner appreciates your optimism and enthusiasm for life, yet when challenges occur, you check out, leaving them to deal with the dirty work.
You detach into your studies, travels or classes rather than dealing with the complex and tedious aspects of relationships and this leaves your partner feeling abandoned.
You are also likely to wander into affairs outside the relationship if you feel bored or confined. Even a flirtatious conversation with someone else can leave your partner feeling hurt while you feel justified In seeking attention elsewhere as just being ‘friendly’.
You are hard working and patient. You treat relationships like a business arrangement. Your partner may not fully understand this. As a result, you are likely to hurt your partner by remaining cool when they are upset.
You also calculate the cost and benefit of everything. Your partner will at some point in the relationship come to feel like a line item in your budget rather than a person. When this happens they will no doubt feel hurt by your practicality and aloof attitude.
The situation will be made worse if you retreat into workaholism rather than talking openly about your perspective and trying harder to empathize with their feelings.
You love excitement and adventure and always keep others guessing. Your partner will feel hurt because you never really want to settle down. You are also brutally honest which can be painful enough for your loved ones.
This is made more complicated by the fact that what you feel one day to the next can be markedly different. So your stark honesty can lead you to tell a different narrative from time to time about what you want.
You also need a lot of breathing room in relationships. A sensitive partner can easily be hurt because you would rather do some activities alone or with other friends than with them and you won’t compromise your wishes just to make them happy.
At times, you are compelled to extreme reactions and can intentionally hurt those you love by blurting out the first thing that comes to your mind without thinking first. You may also use your intellect as a weapon when triggered.
You don’t typically hurt others intentionally. You do retreat into your own fantasy world at times. This can include isolating, excessive time on social media or use of drugs or alcohol.
When you withdraw into your own world, your partner will likely feel hurt and abandoned.
You prefer to avoid conflict as well. Your partner is likely to be hurt when you drop off into your inner world and refuse to deal with important issues. This leaves them to carry a heavy burden and feel like they don’t have the support of their partner to share the heavy load.
Usually your compassion can help you avoid this trap but when you aren’t dealing with your own emotions you will not be able to hold space for others.